Oh man what a question....I feel like I could write a book, oh wait I am. Or I am saying I am writing a book, with a little plot, a little character development...some enemies become friends, some friends become enemies...
Alright, well that's enough of that. I will continue to tell my story thus far. I left off at Huntington Memorial Hospital. I was at the ER with my family after suffering a few months of mysterious pain. I sat in the ER room with my brother who drove me there. He had a burrito that he had bought and at this time I couldn't lift my arms so he fed it to me. Man, if there is something in this world so horrid it is having to be fed when you are a grown man. It was really humiliating. The act of simply being able to grab something and lift it up, do not ever take that for granted because if you do, holy shit man you could be in for world of trouble. So I sat for about an hour and was called in. They said it was fast track....basically an expedited visit. I don't know if you even see a doctor. Funny how when they asked me what was wrong and I replied "I can't use my arms" they thought it was a quick fix. I got sat next to a girl who cut her finger on a tin can....I felt helped....
My mom argued with the nurse to put me in the regular pile and see a real doctor. So back out I went and sat some more in the ER. I was looking around at the other people wondering if anyone had something as crazy as I did, whatever it was. At this point in my life I had never experienced this time of pain, nor for this long. My back ached, my muscles burned, and I could feel the fire tracing down the nerves in my arms and hands, also shooting down my back and legs. After another hour or so they sent me down to the rooms. I sat there and waited to see the MD. I got a nice nurse who gave me some pain medicine and that was that. After a while I saw the doctor and told him the story. About how the pain had just started in my left arm, but soon spread to my right and then my legs. My elbows burned and my hands were useless. I don't really remember what he said, but I had asked for an MRI of my arms or something and he said that he would if he could, but since I was in an HMO and my HMO was not contracted with his hospital they could not admit me. They called the hospital I could go to and spoke to the admitting attending. He didn't want to admit me. The ER MD told me this and asked if I wanted to speak to him. The conversation went something like this...
Doctor: "Why do you want to go into the hospital?"
Me "I can't use my arms! I haven't been able to for a few weeks and nobody can tell me why!"
Doctor "You need to see a neurologist! You don't want to go into the hospital! We can schedule you an appointment! And run tests!"
Me "UNLESS YOU CAN GET ME INTO SEE A NEUROLOGIST TOMORROW MORNING THEN I WANT TO GO INTO THE HOSPITAL! I CAN'T USE MY FUCKING ARMS AND CAN'T FUNCTION! I SWEAR TO GOD I"LL SUE YOUR ASS FOR NEGLIGENCE! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IF YOU COULDN'T USE YOUR ARMS FOR SHIT?!!?! I"VE BEEN PUSHED AROUND IN THIS BULLSHIT FOR TOO LONG! YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THIS NOW!"
Doctor "...............ok"
So he hung up and an ambulance came for me a few hours later. By this time it was probably 8 or 9 at night and I still had no answers. I was wheeled in by a woman in her early 20's. I told her about my experience and she nodded and said that these things were common. She also told me that her family gets better treatment because she works in the medical field. He grandmother fell and went to the local ER. Since they knew the grandmother they took her back immediately and had her seen. What a system, I thought. So we arrived and I was wheeled in. I was so diligent about school at the time I had text-ed my math tutor to tell my teacher I was going into the hospital.
I rolled into the room. A scenery over the next 2 years I would become very familiar with. The linoleum walls, the IV pole. the call button, the small TV off in the upper corner of the ceiling. And the pain chart....numbered from 1-10 with faces to correlate how the pain felt....There was no face on there that matched mine, nor any number....I spoke to the doctor and told him what had been going on. He said he was not sure but maybe I did damage with my weight lifting days. He told me a neurologist would be in to see me in the morning. For the time being he offered pain medicine. I had never taken morphine before in my life. I had only ever smoked weed and drank alcohol. I had an IV line in my left arm and soon the nurse came into the room with a tiny vial. She inserted a needle into the vial and extracted the morphine.
"What's your pain level?" She asked
"A 9 or 10...." I said
"Well this will help."
She picked up the IV line and stuck the needle in. As soon as she did I felt a rush in my body. Like if someone had thrown me onto a roller coast and sent me down the biggest drop ever built. My body reeled for a moment. I instantly felt high, and as soon as the high kicked in my body started to heat up. After the brief rush of heat was an attack of nausea. What felt like 5 minutes was only 5 seconds. I just laid there in a daze for a few more moments and suddenly the pain wasn't as bad as before. Or maybe it was, I just didn't care. Either way it had worked for me. My mom was there with me. She was wearing this red velvet sweater/ It was funny because my mom doesn't usually dress up. Only when I am in the hospital, haha.
I had a roommate. He was an older white business man with glasses. I had asked him what happened and he told me about some weird genetic GI disorder where feces backs up in the intestines and sits and gets infected. Eventually it spreads into the body. He said he woke up feeling fine one day and then an hour later he was on the floor in pain. He was lucky he got saved. After a quick operation that involved tearing his intestines out he was on the road to recovery. I was shocked to hear that story. He asked me what was wrong with me and I told him my story. He didn't know what to say but said that I would get help here. He also told me to be an advocate for myself, and don't let the doctors push you around because they will. You know your body better than anybody.
I tried to sleep that night, I really did...but it never happened. I just sat there while my hands burned. I went over it again and again in my mind. Had I done something? Why was this happening? What was the answer? Was it the car accident 2 years ago? Was it playing bass? Was it carpal tunnel? Was I dying? What??? I think I fell asleep for 2 hours. But from that point on I was asking for morphine ever 4 hours. The thing that sucked about it was that the pain went away for only an hour or so, but they couldn't give you more than one dose every 4 hours. What a gip....But it was better than nothing.....
I can't do anymore. I have to try and practice a little while. Its weird to think about these things again. I guess its good I chronolog it. It is important for a person to reflect and evaluate their lives ever so often. As much as things suck now, it isn't as bad as that time. I am thankful for that.
If you're just reading this now the beginning is in some other posts. Check it out if you want to see the beginning.
Night
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