I must admit, that this life has become tame and dull. I have been through so much, and seen so much, that it all seems like some sort of dream. To return to reality, to what we are, is just a pigment of what we are actually capable of. I'm not sure if I've been exposed to too much, or have felt far too much...but at the end as I have returned back to normal, I am anything but. I know I need drive, and passion. But, and it's hard to continue...why am I here? why are we here? This is just an endless saga of pure bullshit that everyone lives until they find something that is more important than what we all think is. Something more important than eating, breathing, loving, living, being apart of. And in that realization you realize how alone you are, how meaningless life is, until you can complete that task. But the task is endless...just like every great symphony, every great note, every great kiss, every love...It all extends into some pool that I can't find and swim in.
I don't want to be jaded, and cold...but sometimes the world makes it hard. After all, we are what we are...and we aren't much, I have come to find. The more I think about it, the more I know that what we all think is so dire, so now, so next in our lives...it isn't. Just shut up and accept it. We have our own destiny, and some actually come to the point where they realize that they want more. But the reality is that most want more, but are not willing to pay the price. I truly hope one day that I am happy, but I know I am working towards that now. And I meet plenty of people in life who are, aren't, don't care to be, want to be, don't know how to be, and need to be. But I'm sorry you couldn't figure it out, if you have great. But I know that my happiness is far beyond what most people would call "Happiness".
When I'm standing in front of 10,000 people, and it will be a very different 10,000, I'll let you know. Until then, whatever.
