Honestly

I'll tell you. Honestly, what I feel. I feel a hole inside. I don't know how to fill this hole, but I try. This hole occupies my mind, and my heart. It never leaves me, even though I know it shouldnt be there. It keeps me awake, and it never lets me rest. I am always looking to fill it, and I seek things that can't, I trust people who can't. I expect something that isn't there. This hole has been there my whole life. It has always kept me awake, in those dark nights. I thought it was someone, I thought it was something. But at the end, when I come back I find the only thing that can. I find my bass, I find my hands, and I find who I am. I cannot satisfy everyone, because it is hard enough to satisfy myself. There are things that patch it, that can sustain the momentum, but at the end there is still this hole, and I want to fill it. I try to with music. I try to with my soul, but...is all. I wonder if there is a fix for this hole, I wonder if Im not pursing my life in vain. Because this hole runs deep. and it is painful. Its hard to not let it bleed out, and stop the flow. But honestly I just want to know, if someday this hole will stop bleeding, and if I can feel whole.