In this world there are people that catch everyone's attention. It depends on what level of talent, or charisma they have, or perhaps good looks or fashion. But this doesn't go to them, this doesn't go to the ones who are easy to spot, easy to trace, and easy to love. This song goes to the ones who have it hard, who are warriors....Who face day in and out with a conviction that can only be unlocked by an honest heart and an open mind. A person who has waded through the bullshit, that knows what is important.
The person who can't walk without crutches everyday, but has to. The woman who can't use her arms but continues to strive for a goal. Any human being who has had life throw the biggest fucking curve ball and knock them on their ass and tried to make them quit, tried to make them end, tried to stop their existence....
This goes out to the ones who said no...and not only said no but said a fuck you, I am still going to be the human being that I was born and destined to be. There are some things in this world that are so powerful and impossible to comprehend, and some people will never come close to touching it, or experiencing it. I know not everyone wants to be stimulated all the time, or inspired, or activated, or provoked, or inclined to feel. But dam it man I feel like that all the time....I always feel some deeper connection to something that needs to happen. I can't shut my brain off, and I don't know why. I am not sure if it is a curse or a gift.
I'll be honest, sometimes I feel bad. Sometimes I feel real bad....My hands aches that I can barely pick up my bass, let alone brush my teeth. Sometimes My legs hurt so bad I cringe when I have to walk up a flight of stairs. Sometimes I am so nauseated that the thought of eating another meal again makes shutter. And I think the worst part of it all is that sometimes I feel bad for going through this. I feel bad because it happened to me, like a pain, like a loss, like a heartache. It is hard to move on sometimes, and forget about lost time, a lost love, and lost opportunities. I work hard to move forward and try and stake a future for myself, but I am never sure where I will go or how I will end up. I am just soloing over life's changes. Its scary man, real scary. Scary to think who and where I am now. Scary to think how it was before.
I am thankful to God that I can do the things I still love, because I never thought I would get the chance again. But it's just that much harder. I hope that my efforts can be recognized by those around me, but ultimately I think I need to recognize them. I don't need your approval, I need my own.
I had told a friend of mine about how I went to the edge of my sanity one time. That I had been in a place where I never thought I would have come back, and I did. He thought it was awesome....he wanted to have the same experience. He even told me he considered becoming addicted to drugs to reach where I had gone, and I don't think he was joking either. He said that it was awesome that I had gone through that, that I was no longer like most people. That I could no longer relate to most people....I found a lot of truth in that. I have learned a lot, and have tried to use my experience in a positive manner. I do find it hard to relate to others now....almost impossible at times. It's like finding out Santa Claus isn't real when you're still in kindergarten. You want to tell all your classmates but they don't believe you. They think you're crazy....because they all know Santa is real. Then you're alone...you know the truth but the truth has segregated you from the major populace. And slowly years later one friend pops up and says they found out Santa isn't real, and that they couldn't believe it until they saw it for their own eyes, or whatever. They didn't want to believe your sincerity and honesty when you told them that he was a farce...but they inevitably found out about through their own experience. I guess that is the easiest way of explaining how I feel at times.
Don't ever feel bad or wrong about your truth, it is yours and no one else. It deserves the respect and recognition just as much as the sky deserves the sun, or the clouds deserve the wind. Shout your truth from the mountain tops, and be proud.
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