Living with it, not dying from it

I just had my wisdom teeth pulled out yesterday. I was so nervous during the whole procedure. I was scared of infection, scared of pain, scared of this or that. My life has been run by this fear, a fear that paralyzes. I don't know what happened to me during this last month to make things go so bad, but I want to change. A certain point comes where I feel good, then bad, then good, then bad, then worse. Also my brain has started to diminish a bit,but thats ok. I guess the point I am trying to make is that I get angry. I get so angry that this happened, and I pray and hope and wish that my life could return to what it once was, but I have to learn to be ok with what I am now. A friend told me that I would make it, I just had to think of this as my baseline right now. Come to think of it that time I was laying in my bed crying from such horrible back pain that I didnt know where it came from, and was barely touched by 2 percocets. I am glad I have the support of people around me, but it still gets discouraging.  When the mind races it can run you....I am tired and need to brush my teeth.  hope tmorrow will be pain free too. The thing to do now is live with my disease, not let it ruin me.